In all honesty, who really wants to get married? I mean, think about it. The divorce rates are sky high and all of the fun seems to be sucked out of a relationship when you're married. I don't know. Maybe I've had terrible examples of marriage in my life. Not that I've had too many. It seems like you stop being with someone for love and you end up being with them because: (1) you're legally binded to them and (2) you have children or property together. That doesn't seem like living the life. So, it's either you be with them forever or you become a statistic. Which one do you prefer?

I don't know, but you hear a lot of jokes about sex when it comes to marriage. How a wife automatically starts getting tired and a man is left to masturbate his lonely nights away. Lol, I understand that and I'm not even married. I have a simple cure for that, though. Have a long engagement. Just stay engaged forever and ever. She'll keep putting out as long as you give her hope that you'll be married soon. She'll want to make sure you're happy and do everything to prepare herself to be the best wife she can be. Hell, once she's got you - then that's it. You get the big t-shirt and socks in bed instead of the sexy lingerie that you're used to. Instead of wild free spirited sex, you get the plain missionary. I mean, if you even get that. What's two word all men hate to hear when they're horny? "I'm tired."

Let's say you lose your job and your wife becomes the bread winner of the family. Think about your ego, pal. That's a suck ass situation for marriage. Now, if you're engaged! Score! You don't have to own property with her. You don't have to even sleep in the same home with her. Sit back and collect on that good ol' unemployment until you get a new job. You don't have to worry about keeping up with her habits and shit. Chill out in those comfortable basketball shorts and a beater. Think of her at work as your time to marinate your mind with countless hours of sportscenter. Oh yea. What a life, bro?

Have you thought about all you'd have to change while you're married? Uh oh, no more leaving your boxers on the floor before you dive into bed. You can call all of that shit quits. Now you have a nagging wife telling you to pick up your nasty drawers. What's the fun in stripping naked if you have to strip naked and fold your shit up in the hamper or something? Fuckkkkk that. Engagement? Needless to say, you tell that ho to sit down and continue on your naked streak. Leave your socks on the plants and your shirts on the dining room table. Who cares? You are man! We hear you roar.

The bottom line to it: Marriage is overrated so stay engaged. Give her a ring and tell her you'll marry her someday. Look, she'll stay sexy for you. She'll never be too tired to fuck your brains out. You can be unemployed and not give two flying rat's asses. To top it all of, you can be as disgusting and manly as you want to be. That's the way to do it my nigga. Forty year engagements are for real men. Don't do that pussy shit and hand your balls over by getting married. Be elite! Be a man! Ask her, but never come through. Take these words into consideration and keep your scrotum.