This is one of the blogs that I may never post. I have plenty of posts like this. Those are the ones that I write to myself in a wordpad that are never to be revealed. This one will be saved as a draft or something. I wonder if and when I post this will the actual date show up or will the actual date I wrote this show up. I'm not going to give you a date or anything. I guess you can guess whenever you think it was. Maybe you'll be able to guess this post by whatever I'm talking about and what time period it is with surrounding posts. Did that make any sense?

Dreams? Sometimes I think they aren't as important to me as they used to be. Everyone had their lives planned out as children but when you're finally an adult you realize that things may not be what you expected them to be. Your dreams of being a singer aren't going to happen. You wanting to be a veterinarian sounds stupid to you now. When I was a kid I always wanted to be a pilot. I don't know why, I just did. I wanted to make enough money and buy my mom a house in the backyard of mine. Then, it sounded like the best thing ever to me, but now it all seems like a childish thought. I never knew exactly what I wanted to be, other than great. Now even that seems stupid.

Could I be a comedian? I'm great at making people laugh. I mean, seriously - I don't think I'd be able to write some type comedy sketch or even be able to tell a joke on command. I'm more of a spontaneous person. I make people laugh at stupidity or silly comments. I wouldn't know where to begin with telling jokes professionally. My delivery would be super stale. I honestly would suck at that. I'm not the stand on stage funny man type. I mean, the possibility is there, but we'll never know.

Could I be a police officer? I love to do the right thing. I want to feel like I'm making a difference in someone's life and the community that I work in. I don't think that I would be able to deal with the constant dismissal of my peers and everyone that I serve. No one likes the police where I'm from. Their job is really unappreciated. Maybe because they give so many people grief. Eh, honestly - think about it. Some people do stupid things that deserve police intervention. I couldn't be a police officer though. It's too much work, lol. That's not my style either.

Could I be an actor? Maybe. I don't have a memorable face though. The only thing about me that really stands out is my height. You can't tell how tall I am on a movie screen. I don't think I could deal with memorizing all of those lines. It's a lot of work. I don't think I could do all of the serious roles either. They take a lot of concentration and that's one thing that I don't have. I'd laugh my way through lines and - yea, that's really not a good look.

I don't know what else I could do but be an entertainer though. I'm a charming person and I think I have what it takes. The thing is, what I want to do is a pipe dream. It's all luck and who you know to break into the industry. You have to struggle hard and damned near worry yourself into the grave or be extremely rich and break into the business. I'm already broke, so I don't have much to go off of. I wish I could do something else, but I can't now. It's kind of too late.

You never know.