I really want to talk but we're quiet. I can't help but to think that I fucked that up. Eh, these nights are so silent. I guess I'd have something to talk about if I actually opened my mouth. We don't talk and it's really starting to bother me. You know? I look forward to talking at night and we end up going to sleep. I feel like one of those old married couples if you may. There is nothing to be said at night and as soon as he touches her, she turns over and goes to sleep. It's really unfulfilling. I mean, what can I do to make our conversations worth something? I feel hopeless and out of control. So, I sit here and I blog at night. Yet again, I'm not sleepy. Insomnia is kicking up again. I guess you sound peaceful. If only I could relate. It's hard for me to go to sleep, especially when I have so much to speak about. I just don't know what to say or how to say it. It'd be selfish of me to make you sit up and listen to the soft hiss of the silent phone.

Sorry guys, this is going to be long.

I just want to talk, but I don't have anyone to talk to. Ace is having his own problems tonight and no one else understands what I go through. I guess this blog will have to suffice for tonight. I'll be here for a minute tonight.

This song that Ace did is so ill. You'd have to hear it to understand. I mean, well you can hear it. It's the first song on my blog. I'm sure anyone in a relationship that consists of the arguing and love/hate type thing can relate. Especially being the male in the relationship. Lol, it's really hard. When you think about it, it's always going to flip on the male. No matter how hard you try, it's going to be your fault. It's just the rules of the relationship. I don't mind it. I really don't. I just wish we didn't have to go through this as men. You know? It's just, awkward.

I don't remember what I've been typing about. Did I say anything about an old married couple? Well, if I did - I did again. If I didn't, well, I'm going to talk about it now. I feel like I'm in a marriage that has seen it's good times. Those couples that are married for fifty years and just don't have anything else left to give. The nights are so lackluster. I try to talk, but it goes no where. "What's on your mind?" - "Nothing." ; "Talk to me." - "I don't know what to say." Eh, I found myself doing the same thing now. You know what? Lol, it seems like I'm trying to touch her and she just rolls over and goes to sleep. I know I'm not perfect, but eh? You want to know the funny thing? During the day, there's so much to talk about. I mean old married couples go out and enjoy themselves and they have great times together, don't get me wrong. It's just they lack that one essential thing. The, I guess, pillow talk? Yea. I'll take full blame for that.

So, anyway - I'm sitting here listening to this Kanye West CD. That's pretty much all I have tonight. You know? Music. I'm still kind of sick because I hadn't been eating. Too bad I'm broke. I won't be able to get anything until Monday. Long weekend, I know. Anyway, that's beside the point. I love music. Did you realize that you were a champion in their eyes? Yes I did! Lol, random ass lyric blurting moment. Mhm, that's that shittt! -skips stronger. And I wonderrrrr! This is my shit, lol. Don't worry if this is random. If you're not here or if you're not Kanye in tuned, you won't understand it. I'm just being random.

You say I think I'm never wrong.
You know what? Maybe you're right, alright?

Lol, word, that's my shit. I love that line. That's the fucking story of my life.

You say he gets on your FUCKING nerves.

Whew, that's my shit. Ah, I just remembered how much I love this song. This is the laziest shit he's done, though. Like, this ol' boring ass flow. Lol, he's one of the only people who can pull that off though. His swag just makes it okay; and let's not forget how ill the fucking beat is! You ain't know, bro!?

-skips Good Life.
-skips Can't Tell Me Nothin'.

Actually... Yea, I'm skipping Barry Bonds too.

Drunk and Hot Girls, we'll stay here. Lol, we go through too much bullshittttt! I love this song, really. I wish this was a single. I would love to see a video for this. It's such a creative piece of work. Right now, actually - I'm thinking of Kris. Let me hit her up. She said she wanted to tell me about her boyfriend or some shit. That bitch put me on the back burner too. Ion' fucks with her fag ass like that, ho! Sike, I'm playing. Anyway, she didn't respond. Lol, all of the normal people are sleep at this time of night anyway. Well, she just hit me back. Let me listen to her get all mushy about her boyfriend. Never mind! She's taking too long to respond.

Eh, I'm done with Kanye tonight.

I guess since I'm wide awake, I'll go listen to this Drake 'Room for Improvement' shit. I hadn't heard it. How ass backwards? Lol, I know - I know. Wait, Kris responded. Hold on.

kris.: he's 20.. in the military.. from Bama.. he's my #1 Fan and I'm really really REALLY feeling him BUT I don't know if I wanna get with him CUZ this is just too good to be true
jay.: Hm.
jay.: Continue.
kris.: and ummmmm he's extra sexy
kris.: like
kris.: i just wanna WOOOOOOOO

Yea, she just ruined it. I don't even want to talk about it with her anymore. I thought it was her boyfriend though. She wants to talk about someone she has a crush on. How gay? That's nothing exclusive. Anyway, fuck that shit. This Drake shit is kind of ill. It's not as adult as Comeback Season, but this is ill.

I wonder who is still reading this. I mean I can type until the sun comes up because I don't care who is really reading this. I'm writing for myself right now. I need someone to talk to. I'm not sleepy at all and I'm in a talkative mood. I know I said I was going to start shortening these blogs, but I just want to talk! Sue me, hoes.

Okay, I'll stop now.

Longassnoreasonforblog.