Happy Birthday to myself. That's all that matters. I don't care if another person in this world doesn't tell me. It's my 20th. I am no longer a teenager, but not quite a full privileged adult. Twenty is such an awkward age. I'm exclusive enough to call you teenagers young, but I'm just not quite old enough to fit in with the older crowd. They'll still make jokes about me not being able to get in clubs or buy alcohol. I don't really go out much anymore, nor do I drink - so I'm good on that. I'd still like to be able to. The only thing I'm looking forward to is having an adult license. I'm not sure you have the kiddy ones there. Like, all of the adults are printed out like sideways but ours is longways. I can't explain it. You'd have to be in Michigan. Google it.

This birthday isn't coming in too well. Do they ever? Nothing really changes with my life. I can pretty much expect the same thing every year. I've felt like shit each time my birthday came around. Last year I just sat in my room watching movies. I think I told y'all about that. Yea, if I didn't then my bad. But last year was terrible. The year before that too and every year before that one as far back as I can remember. The only birthday that really stands out in my mind is my third birthday. I had the cliche Chuck E. Cheese birthday. It wasn't so cliche then, though. It seemed so revolutionary then. Anyway, to make a long story short - I was afraid of Chuck E. Cheese. Whose idea was it to make a big rat your mascot? You should be shot, really.

Eh, I'm so sad. I'm trying hard not to show it, but I am. I just hope that this day gets better as it goes on. Maybe I just need to sleep it off. I don't know. Someone comment me a happy birthday or something. That would make me feel good. Just to know someone thought about me today, you know? I would like to celebrate my life thus far. What have I really accomplished, though? I mean, I guess I'm still young. I have as much time as God allows to make something of myself. I pray he gives me another twenty years plus sixty more on top of that. All with good health, might I add. I'd like to be 100 years old running a marathon and just die in the middle of it from being so happy because I won. I want the lasting images that people have on me to be a smile on my face so that they'll be creeped out at my funeral because there's a big ass kool-aid smile on my face. Oh, and I want to be standing up and pointing my finger out. Also being on a rotating platform so that all the bad bitches can dance with me. Uh-ohhh, get it - get it!

That kind of made me smile.
I don't need nobody else.
Happy 20th Birthday to me.