"If I want a bitch, guaranteed she'll take it off"

That seems like a false line these days. Before I get into that, let's talk about strangers. In actuality, all of you are nothing more than strangers to me. I feel comfortable talking to a stranger about a life problem. It's simple logic, really. I don't have to answer to a stranger about something that they don't feel is right about me. A stranger's opinion really matters nothing to me. I can see you today and you'll be out of my life tomorrow. It's great talking to someone that you don't know. They don't have a preconceived thought about you. They can give an unbiased look into what's going on with you.

The problem with talking to a friend or someone who knows you is: They already know who you are and if they don't like what's on your mind, it'll change who they think of you as. It's like people coming out of the closet, you know? They can tell a stranger they're gay before they tell their family. Who cares what that stranger thinks? When you try to break something to your friends and family you have to consider how they'll feel and if what you're going to tell them will affect your relationship in a negative way. Why do you think people go to shrinks before they go to their own spouses? It's the stranger. Who cares what they think! The good thing about a shrink is that they'll be able to actually give insightful advice.

Let's talk about sex now. I see you grinin'. Lol, seriously. Most of my life I've been somewhat of a sex object? I don't know how to explain it. I've been around sex for a very long time. My brother had females in and out of the house. I never went through that whole "ew, girls have cooties" stage. I couldn't tell you when my first kiss was because I've been getting kissed since a young age. My brother had this girlfriend named Tracey. See, Tracey was bad and I wanted to have sex with her. Mind you, I'm a good four years old. I had this plan that once Tracey came in my room to give me a goodnight kiss, then I'd flip her over on my bed and we'd have sex. I tried. She laid in the bed with me, that's all. I didn't have sex with her and I was kind of sad. Lol, anyway. I've been getting kisses and what not for the longest.

I was six when I first got a kiss from someone my age. She lived up the street from me. Linda, man I remember her. We used to sneak behind this bush and kiss each other on the lips all day. We even tried to have sex once. I knew little about it. I just knew that you were naked and on top of each other. So, we got naked and I laid on top of her and we pecked each other on the lips. Her grandmother caught us. I got a terrible whipping from her and from my grandma and from my mom. Then they sat both of us down and told us that we were only children and we shouldn't be thinking about adult things like that. So from then on, Linda and I hid our love and kissed less often. That was until the summer ended and she moved back to Chicago.

From then on, I always kept a girlfriend. By the forth grade I was french kissing. I guess you can say I started early. Gabrielle Buckman, lol. I just put her name out like that. I'm sorry. Anyway, she gave me my first "older kiss". She had titties and all. Not to mention she was the only girl in the fourth grade class with them. That was neat-o-rama. We were together for a minute until I told her that I could have any girlfriend that I wanted. Then she broke up with me at lunch. Fuck it, I just ended up getting with Kim the same day.

Moving on through many grades, many girlfriends, and may kisses. Let's stop here. The 8th grade. This is when I started fingering. Lol, how nasty? We would sit in the gym and put our coats over our laps and get to fingering. The first girl I fingered was Ashley Davis. We made the saying "smell my fingers" popular in that school. Lol, the teachers were dumb founded. Such nasty little boys we were.

This also happened to be when I lost my virginity. I won't say her name because she probably reads my blog. It was the day after my cousin Jorodd told me he lost his virginity. Fuck that, I had to go out and get some too. I always knew that I could, but I was just shy about it. So, we did it. It was every bit of what I expected, honestly. She didn't believe I was a virgin when I started. Heh, shit - I'm fucking you, right? I'm not a virgin anymore. Oddly, I knew what I was doing. I mean, I'd been around sex for the duration of my life thus far.

I didn't mean to take you down memory lane, really. I guess what I'm trying to say is that sex has always come about easily for me. For as long as I can remember, I've never had a problem getting what I wanted. If I even hinted that I was horny, the 'prudiest' female would be the first to take her clothes off for me. Which relates back to that line. I've always had my ways with it. I knew how to tell if she wanted it. I knew how to make her show me that she wanted it. It's never been hard for me. I usually make them want it; especially smaller girls. Who doesn't want to have sex with a 6'8" man who can make you feel like there's no gravity? Lol, I'm sounding arrogant.

I guess it's hard for me now. I've always been a sexual person. I can't help that I make sex jokes or that sex talk excites me. It always seemed mutual with people, you know? Now, it's like it only comes up because I want it to come up. I don't know. I just feel like I'm not doing it for my partner. It's quite embarrassing to admit, but who are you? No one. Anyway, I feel like my sex appeal isn't there. I remember when the sound of my voice would get someone horny. I feel extra regular now. Then I get to thinking if it's mutual or is it only happening because I want it to happen. If I never bring it up, it'll never happen, trust me. I went from mid-July to mid-September without bringing it up and nothing happened. Six months, six times. Average that out and it's once a month. Mind you, I'm a horn-dog. Maybe I'm not as arousing as I thought I was.

Anyway, thanks to the two virgins and Sharina for giving me advice, or lack of.